The Blue Book

Anika Zachow

- Surrounded by people and yet lonely, listening without understanding, talking without saying anything, breathing without getting air, everything very muffled, everything very far away. Sometimes superficial, sometimes hidden, but always present, this fear that I am obsessed with, that makes my fingers tremble, that day after day robs me of my understanding and from which, little by little, I no longer manage to escape -


When i wrote this down, i decided to go, i didn‘t know where, but the main thing was to get away. Berlin in particular gives the opportunity to be constantly on the run and to let everything pass by. I‘m very oversaturated in the city, what inspired me on one side took it away on the other. So I spend the whole April on my own. I started my trip in France/Atlantic coast. I lived in Toulouse for a few, very formative, years and I missed it a lot, so i thought this is what i might need. But also here i could not stay, it was too close, too familiar and used to. In the end i traveled by train till Tanger/Marocco and it took me all the way down to Tarifa (the southernmost tip of Spain) until I could rest. until it felt right and far away enough to stay. Most of the pictures were taken there or in the larger surroundings of Andalusia.

This book is a visualisation of my thoughts and feelings during this journey, of desire and the illusion of someone who cares and whispers „everything is gonna be alright“.
a visualisation to remind me of how it supposed to feel to be